This is My Infertility • Day 3

Last but not least we are featuring Melanie’s family today. Do you remember our prayer request a few months back? Well baby boy was adopted and is right where he belongs! This family had a long wait for this precious little guy. 

Sharing these photos this week shows just how unique each situation is. I know that each and every story is painful but there is hope and God has a plan for your family.  I hope these stories have encouraged you this week. 


Happy New Year! 

Happy New Year to all of my friends at #hopeforwaitingarms im sorry we have been a little absent over the holidays, with a trip to Thailand, a toddler, Christmas and jet leg I have been exhausted! But I am so looking forward to this New Year and supporting and encouraging you all in your journey to your families. 🎉😀❤️#infertility #infertilitysupport #losingachild #infertilitysucks #infertilitysisters


The Adoption Story of Jacob Chen

This is one of my favourite adoption videos online and I watched it many times for encouragement while we were waiting to be chosen by birth parents. I tried to imagine what our own story would be like, and I felt like I was getting a glimpse of what our future held when I watched this video 

Watch Video here

The Chen Family also has a blog where they share updates, encouragement and Adoption resources. 

Visit Blog


Ways to Support your Friends

A lot of us have not experienced miscarriage or infant loss, so we don’t know how to be there for those that have. Here are a few ways to support and love your friends who have or are dealing with this pain. 

1. Acknowledge the loss

Tell you friend that you are sorry for their loss. Ask if you can hug them and pray for them. And if they chose a name for their child, use the name. 

2. Don’t try to have the right thing to say. 

Most likely you won’t have the right thing to say so don’t try. Just be a listening ear. Tell your friend your always there to talk when they are ready. 

3. Hold off on Stories
Don’t try to cheer them up by telling stories of others. By telling them they will be fine in the future and may have a child some day doesn’t make the pain any less right now. 

4. Encourage supportive social media
Help share and spread the word that infertility and miscarriage is not something shameful to be kept quiet. Don’t tag you friends in posts. It’s their decision to share. 

If you have other thoughts and suggestions of how people can or have been there for you. Please comment below! 


Why I’m thankful for infertility 

“give thanks in all circumstances; for this is Godʼs will for you in Christ Jesus.”‭‭1 Thessalonians‬ ‭5:18‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Today I’m thankful for infertility. That’s right. I’m thankful that through not being able to conceive on our own, God wrote a beautiful story of adoption to bring our family together. I’m so grateful for my daughter and without infertility I would never have known her and I wouldn’t know her brave and wonderful birth parents. 
God used then to bring her into our lives. He used two seemingly unfortunate circumstances and made something incredibly beautiful out of it. We always prayed before our adoption that while we hoped God would answer our prayers for a child to call our own, that we would also be an answer to prayer for someone else. And we now see that in all our waiting and wondering he was working on answering all those prayers. Sometimes I didn’t know where he was. Because I didn’t think he was listening. But he was. He loves me more than I could ever imagine and I see a glimpse of that in my gorgeous daughter. 
In James it says 

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,” James‬ ‭1:2‬ ‭

I now see in my own life how suffering can turn into pure joy. You may not know yet how your story is going to turn out but he says 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭55:8-9‬ ‭

We can’t always figure out what he is doing, and if I could give you advice I would say stop trying to. Just seek him, get to know him through his word, open your heart to him and watch him do miraculous things. 

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!


She Danced 

#Repost @mymisterandme with @repostapp・・・

I have someone’s story to share. This last week I was away for some photoshoots and my very last client asked me to share (anonymously) her story of hope. She did dance back in college and asked for an artistic shoot to help her capture her emotions. She has had 2 miscarriages in 5 years… the second of which almost killed her. She told me about how hard it was going through the loss and then feeling like she lost track and control of her body. Her dance was pushed to the side as she grew more ashamed of her figure and more than that… felt like her body just was letting her down. When she lost her second child, the loss was so deep and the pregnancy was so far along that it almost killed her too. She didn’t want to fight for herself after losing another child. Then… years later, she’s come to a beautiful realization and wanted to share it with all the other mothers with angels in heaven. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• “The loss I went through… I realized that I wasn’t alone. There are other angel mommys that are hurting just like me. I decided that I was done mourning. It was time to work on myself, mend my heart and get back to my passions. Maybe even let my passions and experience help others. This is going to be my first time dancing again… and I wanted it to be photographed. I’ve been dreaming of a routine that shows my loss, my hurt and ultimately… my hope. My body has changed, and it’s taken time, but I’m proud of the way I look. It’s the way it is because of the experiences I’ve been through and it shows my struggle and now I believe it shows my strength. My curves are beautiful to me because they remind me that I have two little angels in heaven who need me to live life to the fullest.” •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

She danced. I cried and she wept with her movements. This shot to me… Shows it all. Loss, change, hope and acceptance. Let’s show this ✨Angels Mommy✨ our support and love. Help me share her story so that her experience can give hope to others! ••• Now… Excuse me while I go and get some more tissues.

Shared from @mymisterandme on Instagram. 
Thank you so much for bringing this post to our attention and allowing us to share it! If you are facing the same things that this angel mama is facing, you are not alone. We are a community of support for you. This month we remember all the angel mamas and angel babies. 


Please Share

Hello friends! Thank you so much for your support for hope for waiting arms so far! We are a new community looking to grow! We want to work hard to provide different supports for those facing the challenges around building a family but we need your help! We want to reach and support as many people as possible. Please share our page in hopes to reach more people in need of support.
You yourself may not be dealing with this but you may know someone who is. Or, Unfortunately these struggles are very personal and alot of people choose to stay quiet about it. So you may even have friends that you don’t even know are suffering in silence, but it always helps to know that others out there are facing the same challenges and they are not alone!


Monthly Book Recommendation-September

Waiting for a child? A home? A spouse? Waiting for Healing? And what happens when the waiting is over. 

We all wait for different things at different times in our life. Sometimes we just don’t understand why we have to wait for what we want, or wait for our suffering to be over. There is no clear answer as to why this happens as each of our individual situations are different. I hope this book answers some of your questions and encourages you in your season of waiting, for whatever that may be. 

“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭27:13-14‬ ‭NIV‬‬


Did You Know? Pineapple can Boost Fertility!

Why Pineapple? 

Pineapple has an enzyme called bromelian. Bromelian is good for pain relief, blood thinning and it’s also an anti inflammatory or natures aspirin. 

What does that have to do with fertility? 

The benefits of a blood thinner when trying to conceive is that it helps to drive blood to the uterus. This encourages a healthy uterine lining, sticky embryos and reduces the risk of miscarriage. 

If you have inflammatory issues, bromelian can increase implantation potential. 

When to Eat Pineapple

After confirmed ovulation for 5 days. 

Or if no confirmed ovulation, from start of suspected ovulation to a positive pregnancy test (BFP -big fat positive).

Here is what baby centre suggests for when to eat pineapple for different the different approaches to achieving pregnancy. 

  or IVF [in vitro fertilization] cycle: one pineapple, divided into 5 portions – consume one portion each day, over five days, beginning on the day of your embryo transfer.

IUI [intra-uterine insemination] cycle: one pineapple, divided into 5 portions – consume one portion each day, over five days, beginning on the day of your IUI.
Timed intercourse cycle: one pineapple, divided into 5 portions – consume one portion each day, over five days, beginning on the day after ovulation.
How much pineapple do I eat? 

Cut the pineapple, including the core and divide the core and flesh evenly into 5 portions and eat one portion every day for 5 days. 

When not to Eat Pineapple

Do not eat pineapple in the beginning of your cycle before ovulation. The acidity can have negative affects on your cervical mucus. 

Also do not eat pineapple after a positive pregnancy test. The thinning of blood is not good for a growing fetus and large amounts of bromelian can even cause mild contractions. 

Good luck! Let us know if you get your BFP from trying pineapple!! 


What if it’s not about what we want?

not about you Hmmmm what do I want? What do I want? Standing in front of a display fridge with delicious treats spread out before me… A donut? Hmm I don’t know, a butter tart? Cheesecake? Yikes, can I justify that?  Oh what’s that over there? Oh something healthy ew. That’s probably what I should have…. But I deserve a treat, something sweeter. 

How many of you can relate? I hope all of you, (if not, embarrassing for me) I’m always thinking about what I want. What I want for lunch, what I want to do today, tomorrow, this weekend? Where will we go on vacation next? Who do I want to talk to, call, hang out with? Want want want want want. 

Recently Brandon and I went on an over night getaway alone to spend some time together. With all this uninterrupted time we got to talking about our next adoption and all of our options. Should we do domestic private like we did last time? Or try something different? We realized that we don’t have to do the same thing the second time and that all options are back on the table. So we talked about everything and we came to the conclusion that we are tired of talking about what we want. In the end we don’t know what’s best for us. We want more children, and we have a lot of love to give and we are going to open ourselves up to what God wants for us. 

Rant alert: something that bothers me on Facebook is when people set their status as something like: looking for options for dinner tonight aaaaaaand go! Like the whole Facebook world is just chomping at the bit to give you suggestions. 

I feel like a lot of the time this is how we approach God. Here’s what I want God. Aaaaaaaand go! And pray pray pray till we get it. 

Do you ever ask him what he wants for you? In the bible Jesus says 

my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:30

I definitely did not feel that way while we were struggling with infertility and waiting to adopt. Nothing was easy about it and it did not feel light! I wanted a baby and I wanted it now. But maybe his yoke is easy and his burden is light IF we trust him, we seek him, we want what HE wants for our life! I was so anxious with our first adoption. I wanted it to happen quick and did everything I could to make sure we weren’t holding anything up. But guess what? It happened when God had planned it to happen. Just like it was going to all along. Just like everything ever did! And many people said “Gods timing” to me and I didn’t like those people very much, so I understand if you don’t like me very much right now. Because maybe I’m telling you that you have to wait longer, or that what you want is maybe (maybe) not what God has for you. But this might mean that you are making it harder on yourself than it has to be! You can rest in him, and trust him. That healthy thing in the display case, is better for you. Even though it’s not what you think you want. 

Before that last verse in Matthew Jesus says

Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 

Matthew 11:28

Do you believe that you can go to him and he will give you rest? You can! But you have to trust him. With your life, with you plans and with your heart. 

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,for I have put my trust in you.Show me the way I should go,for to you I entrust my life. 

Psalm 143:8

For me right now this means trusting him with our next adoption. Not laying out specific criteria of what we are looking for in a child. But opening our hearts and our home and trusting that God has a perfect plan for our family.  For you it may mean accepting something that has already happened to you, like an unwanted pregnancy or a child with special needs or infertility. 

Through Instagram networking I found this lovely t-shirt company called littlest warrior. They make awesome shirts that tell messages of love and acceptance, but there was one shirt design that I didn’t quite understand. So I looked up their website to see if they explain it. The t-shirt design was inspired by the story below and the message is that sometimes we are so set on what we want, that we can’t even open our eyes to see what else might be out there for us, something we never even thought about. 

Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley. 

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”
“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”
But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.

This story was inspired by a parent who had to unexpectedly learn to raise a child with special needs. But we can all relate to an experience in our life where we wanted Italy but we got Holland. 

I’m sorry if this all sounds harsh. It feels harsh writing it. But I just love and care for you all who are suffering right now waiting, and hurting and working so hard towards your goals. Not that that is a bad thing, a lot of things that are meant to happen are hard, so hard that we must lean on God. A common saying is that God only gives us what we can handle. But I don’t believe that, I believe that he gives us things that we absolutely can’t handle without him. He designed us to need him. But how often do you ask God, “what do you have for me?” “Am I working towards my goals? Or Gods plan for my life” “am I fighting with him, or against him?”


Are you a Strong woman? 

We hear it all the time, “be strong” when we are facing trials. But what does it mean? I wanted to share something from this months book recommendation. 

Lisa Chan is talks about a time that her and her husband Francis were visiting Ethiopia. She spent some time with the women in the poor villages and was impressed with how much these women had to do, just to get by every day with the basic necessities. 

She describes a strong woman and it so reminded me of all of you, who are facing trials and Perservering through hard times. Whether it be infertility, an adoption struggle, miscarriage and even parenting has its many challenges. 

One day as we were driving back from one of these villages, I saw the most amazing tree perched on a hill. It had a thick and sturdy trunk, with gorgeous full branches of a beautiful shade of green. I felt the Lord say, “That is what a strong woman looks like.” A strong woman has waited patiently while her roots grew down deep into the Word of God. Over time, she becomes unshakeable in her faith. She starts bearing fruit naturally and is full of life. People are attracted to her strength and growth, and many find rest and peace as they lean on her. And when storms and trials come, as they always do, they will not be able to take her down. A few branches may be lost or pruned away, but in their place comes new growth, new life.

This is what I long to be! A strong woman who is anchored in God’s promises.

But it starts by setting down your roots in God’s Word. It will not happen as you stand up for yourself, and demand attention, and fight for yourself. It will happen as you stand in Christ, and demand that He gets your attention, and fight for His glory.
The beautiful thing is that as we pursue this, God takes His rightful place in our lives. It says in Scripture, “The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Neh. 8:10)
Taken from “you and me forever” by Francis Chan & Lisa Chan 

Are you fighting too hard for yourself? Demanding attention? What would it mean if we started to fight for his glory in our lives and not our own? 

I hope that these words encourage you and strengthen you today. 


July Book Recommandation

We (Brandon and I) have been listening to this book on audio, through the app called “You and me Forever” by Crazy Love Ministries. Every time we are driving somewhere or have an hour of coffee time together, we play a chapter. 

This is a book about marriage, but not in the way you might think. No, this book is not what you would expect and so refreshing in the way they present “Marriage advice”. With the premis that we are united with our spouse in the purpose of Gods mission on our way to eternity. 

Going through hard times can make or break a marriage. But staying united and loving your spouse through these hard times not only builds your own strength and character, but also that of your marriage. I don’t know about you, but I’ll take any advice or encouragement I can get that will help my relationship be a strong, loving and lasting one.